struggle

struggle

my mind is blown my mind is blown, tossing and turning worrying about life events
i am worry or is worry me, worrying  about when my next pay check is to come, living day by day counting my coins, as i lay the bills out on the table, putting a hundred here 50 here for the light and the gas, or the water, grief and worry outline my face, as the struggle outline my frown lines, putting in hard work, making ends meet and stretch to the next cycle of events, that my happen to pop out of this air. of despair
a dollar here and a dollar short, paying Caesar things to Caesar, because he wants and go get  and will get his  due, by twice a month appearing on your livelihood called deduction that they say will help you in the long run, oh down around the end of the year stepping into the new year, oh tax time, taxing to the point  that  you barely have anything to account for, like a every ending cycle of trying to play catch up in this game called life. I may pay Caesar things to Caesar but i pay all things to the lord above, my life my breath just waking up to to day, but the almighty gods son pay the ultimate price for us to have the chance to have a longtime respite of love and comfort, and peace, and harmony not wanting for anything, living in pure safety and happiness. he just ask us to be  patient, be long suffering, and that he would never let us go threw anything that we can't bare.

But be mindful that this struggle is real, and its laying in the power of the wicked one kids dying people crying, longing for a better days ahead, standing in bread and food lines, people pushing and arguing to get to the head of the line. throwing shade to the old lady in the front of the line, standing with hunger and grief in her face.

as she takes baby and stutter steps  to the table, as someone else picks and dictates what they think you should have, as she clutch the bread and the fruits in a hurry too taste the food that  she can barley get it in her mouth , as you kindly standing behind her and open  up the food for her, and her drink and you  ask her to rest as you, kindly put the free items in her cart.

as she gently touch your face with acceptance and gratitude, for that little gesture as the line gets more hectic over time. and you never know this person of interest could be a angel that you entertained in disguise . because of the love and kindness you just displayed. knowing that you have to hurry up and get back in the line, because it help,  you and your family make ends meet,  just that extra that you are blessed with to make them ends meet .

the struggle, of life may seem hard at times and you may not know were your last dollar will, come from, or your next meal, but having faith for the assured things to come, every 30 or 31 days, you end up always making it and making due, and the time flies by so fast, you forget why you were stressing in the first place.

the struggle often lets you see others, not being as fortunate as you, the pain in there eyes, not having clean clothes to wear or having to wear the same clothes everyday for school, or work having to wash up in a gas station every morning while you strive to keep your job keeping ever secret that, you come to work everyday and go home to your car every evening.

but the struggle to help some one else, should not be and impairment to pay it forward, because as life goes on with its struggles and ups and down the person you may have helped and not expected anything in return.may be that one person down the line that will safe you from your struggles and keep you wondering were you entertained by angel:)

the struggle by helen davis